Methtastic

Two or three years ago I sneered at the Anglicans I was training alongside as they fretted about their robes. I still vividly recall one who was bemoaning the fact that the purple stole he ordered wasn’t the right shade of purple! (To paraphrase Michael Caine “I’m not sure he was, but I think he’d be willing to help out if they were short handed!” )

Anyway, I’m now reaching the stage where I suppose I need to think about what to wear. I don’t think I want to wear a dog collar all the time. I’m fairly certain I want black clerical shirts only and I think I probably need a cassock if only for weddings, funerals communion etc.

But where to start?

So come on folks which suppliers are the most help? Where can I go to see some stuff? All advice appreciated.

So I think I can officially tell you now that I am being stationed to Swindon. I’ll have pastoral charge of 3 churches - Stratton, St. Andrews and Rodbourne Road.  From the profiles St Andrews and Rodbourne are more traditional.

On Friday we’re going to have a look round. So I can tell you more after that.

But for now we are just pleased that God has placed us here.

Well at 19.20 on 4th January 2007 we received the phone call that will change our lives. We heard from the Principal at college where I was to be stationed. I can’t publicly say where it is yet (watch this space) but we are very very happy about it.

Looking back over this whole process I can see God having been at work throughout he has enabled everything to happen. And whilst it has not always been smooth he has prepared the way.

I must admit I did not trust Him right at the end. As Lamplighter knows, even last Thursday afternoon I was pessimistic about the outcome. I feared that the Methodist Church might not listen to God (f0r I was sure he would not want to see us spend time apart as a family.) But I was wrong. God and the Methodist Church were on the same wave length.

My Bible reading notes have had several readings over the last few days about new journies. But for me the most inspirational was Psalm 121.

I won’t be sorry to see the back of 2006 as it’s been a tough year for me and the family.

In January a work colleague died aged 43 leaving behind a wife and two young children. I found myself acting as a pastor to many people in the work place whowere fond of Ian. It was a privilege and I really felt God was close by.

Then in April Mrs Diction’s father died after being ill for several years. We were with him as he died. This was the first time I had sat with someone as they died and once more I felt God affirming my calling through this.

Then in October my grandfather died. I was alone with him in his hospital room and once again I felt God close by as I prayed with grandpa as he died. Ironically he wasn’t happy abou my entering the ministry (although he was a life long MEthodist) as I think he felt I was throwing away a good career in banking!

So 2006 has been hard. But as I say God has been there throughout and, although I wouldn’t have wished Ian, John or grandpa to die, my calling has been affirmed through the ministry I have given to friends and family as a consequence.

Tomorrow I’ve been asked to speak for a few minutes at a morning service being taken by one of our local preachers with a theme of looking back and looking forward.

Although looking forward is not easy at this point, it will be clearer after 4th January. But I do know that God is preparing a way for me and my family and that soon my 4 years of training for the ministry will be over and I can finally get my hands dirty!

On 4th January the stationing committee meets to decide where we student ministers will be stationed as probationers. It now seems very real.

I’ve got the strangest sensation - it is like being a child once more thinking about Christmas approaching. I want the days to rush by and yet (in my glass half empty world) I am dreading the day as well in case the news is not what we want.

And yet there is still the child like excitement about it all.

Mrs Diction bless her seems to be coping really well. We seem to have spent the last couple of weeks whenever we meet people we know telling them that the 4th is the day and every time she must wonder what 4th January will bring. I think we are resigned to being apart for a year so that Young Diction can finish his GCSEs. So if we are stationed somewhere he can finish GCSEs at his current school that will be a bonus.

Please keep praying for us. I know some of you reading this have gone through it and come out the other side (relatively) unscathed! But being one of life’s pessimists at a time like this makes me see the worst in everything.  So prayer would be very helpful.

 A friend sent me a link during Advent to something call Four Candles. I was hoping it would be to do with the Two Ronnies classic sketch. Sadly it was more a reflective thing. Not really my cup of tea but Lamplighter liked it and found it helpful. (Maybe she’ll post about it?) For those of you inclined the link is

http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2529/4candles.swf

However, attending Midnight Communion with our 14 year old on Christmas Eve the Two Ronnies sketch came to mind once more. The preacher said at one point “We’ll now light the four candles” (on the advent ring.) I whispered to Young Diction “Got any ‘ose?” He immediately got a fit of the giggles and Mrs Diction glared at us both. Result!

Mental note to self when conducting anything involving four candles. Say “We’ll light the fourth candle” not “Let’s light four candles”!

I’ve been on a residential with College this weekend. Spirituality. Looking at Franciscan, Benedicitine, and Ignatian rules of life. (I may post on this at some point but quite frnakly can’t be bothered at22.00 on a wet Sunday evening.)

Anyway, we had a social evening and someone suggested that we do Singalong Sound of Music.

All 30 students dressed up in some costume related to the musical (including an Anglican ordinand friend of mine who came dressed - rather convincingly - as Maria.) I dressed as a Lonely Goat Herd. (I’m pleased to say I won the prize for the Outfit in the worst possible taste. Chiefly due to the way a sheep was placed in a sporran like fashion. Well I am Welsh!)

If you’ve not done it, you can get a Sound of Music DVD with the song words subtitled.

Until last night I had thought of SOM as good family entertainment. Now I see it as a Camp Fest!

To make it work in the most tacky way there are things you need to know.

1. During the opening sequence flying over hills leading eventually to Maria singing “The Hills are alive to the sound of music” you have to whisper “She’s coming, she’s coming.” (Of course for the naughty boys such as Benny Diction this was an excuse to snigger. The tone went down from there I’m afraid to say.)

2. When Maria takes down the curtain to make clothes for the children, you wave a little piece of cloth.

3. When Maria and the Captain kiss, set off party poppers.

4. At the wedding, throw confetti.

5. Boo the Nazis and hiss the Baroness.

I recommend it. Though maybe you need one or two glasses of wine to get the most enjoyment - so no good for Methodist Guild Hotels etc!

As well as the “Don’t use the Lord’s table for your books” nonsense, something else wonderful I’ve picked up recently has been gluten free bread at communion.

Now firstly, I apologise to people who suffer from coeliac disease. I don’t know how little or how much wheat you need to react. But knowing one or two sufferers, I’m told that a small communion size piece of bread is fine. But apparently not if you attend one of the joint communion services held by theological colleges in a large west country city.

I’ve been to two of these now. At the first (run by Anglicans) there was a choice of “normal” wine, non alcoholic wine, “normal” wafers or “gluten free” wafers. Of course being Anglican as people just trooped up they had to ask the servers for the choice. Leading to all sorts of confusion aobut who had gluten free and non alcoholic.

Then more recently at a service hosted by the Baptist college, the pastor broke a large loaf which he then sub divided on to individual plates which were brought round to the congregation (in the Baptist tradition.) The loaf was we were told gluten free. It tasted of nothing and when I tried to break a piece off it crumbled to, well, crumbs. (Goodness knows how long it would have taken high Anglicans / Methodists to clear up all the bread afterwards!)

Of course maybe this is an intersting trend. Perhaps next we could have a choice within the alcoholic communion wine (”May I recommend the Shiraz? Or would you prefer a Chateau Neuf De Pape?”)

Or maybe instead of communion wafers we should have rice cakes?

Sometimes I long for the good old days back in South Wales of a couple of slices of Sunblest and Ribina! (No, I’m not joking.)

I was taking prayers at college recently in a small chapel. As prayers there are informal I was seated for most of the time next to the Lord’s Table and put my Bible and book of prayers on the table. Afterwards one of the lecturers took me aside and said that this wasn’t appropriate. The table was a sacred thing and should only be used for communion.

In 15 years of preaching (and as a life long Methodist) I’ve never encountered this before. In fact I’ve never heard an Anglican come up with this one. I can imagine the reaction in most of the chapels I’ve preached in to this sort of attitude.
And I thought the only sacred things in Methodism was the hymn book and busts of John Wesley?

What’s next? Transubstantiation as Methodist doctrine?

Yesterday I went to a Methodist Student committee meeting in London. Good enough meeting with bring and share lunch. And as usual with bring and share lunches no one wants to be thought of as stingy so everyone brings too much food. So there was loads left over.

At the end of the meeting it was left to a friend (Steve) and I to clear up. We thought rather than dump the food we’d take it home (teher were things like crips, doughnuts and chicken drumsticks.) I joked that we ought to go down to South Bank and give it to the homeless. Well the joke became reality. That is what Steve and I did. We found  someone (very drunk Scotsman) and gav him the back. He couldn’t believe it and told us we were “****ing brilliant!”

As we left him a young guy stopped us and pointed at the large cross Steve was wearing round his neck. “Is that a Jesus cross?” he asked. We said yes it was. The young guy (Mark) then told us how he was homelss and out of work. He said he was a Christian and asked us to pray for him which we did.  He asked for nothing else but was delighted that we’d done this for him.

Mark, I don’t know where you are tonight my friend but I’m praying for you. And I hope that people reading this blog will pray for you as well.